Photography and Interviews by Stephanie A. Smith Los Angeles, CA (2016)
Like many lost souls in the city of angels searching for love in all the wrong places, I created this project to cope with a heartbreak. I had so many questions and needed some insight. Was it me that was unloveable? Do I break my heart for art? Does everyone in this town have commitment issues? If we all want to be loved, why is it so difficult to find lasting love? I decided to reach out to other Angelenos and ask them questions about their love stories and perspective on love while photographing them. These are the photos and quotes from their stories that I think we can all relate to. ❤ Just note, you are lovable. ❤
“Our actions and how we react to things define us more than someone’s actions towards us…We should always be open to improve and we should always be open to learn and to take in constructive criticism.” — Harley
“I was madly in love. It’s crazy because when I look back, I think I was willing to compromise my happiness to make it work, but where I am now, I don’t think that was the right or best decision for me. “ — Darlene
“Online, I can be myself, I can be an extreme version of myself, and if they’re still into that, when they meet me, they’ll be like “oh he’s not that insane,” or at least that what I hope they’re a saying.” — David
“Trust is everything. Loyalty. Trust is hard now in days.” — Alfonso
“My self-esteem had gotten to a point that I didn’t believe in myself, or I didn’t even like looking at myself, and I realized I had to not tell myself negative thoughts. I realized one day I was not being nice you myself, and I said “you wouldn’t talk to your best friend like this, so why are you talking to yourself like this?” I had to change the self-thought. You’re the only person who controls the way that you think.” — Nikki
“There was a lot of back and fourth, maybe I don’t want to leave you, maybe I do. There was a lack of communication. It was a nightmare. Someone told me, “it’s going to suck, it’s going hurt, but you just have fight through it and live your life because it’s a new chapter. You went through a beautiful phase of your life with this person, and now it’s time to see what else is out there.” And that was hard because I wanted what I had… If two people don’t want to make something work, it’s over. If a couple is really struggling, if they both have the desire and they’re committed, they’ll survive it, but if you’re one person on that team, it’s a no-go.” — Laura
“If you allow the love to have you then you can have that love for yourself. If you allow yourself to feel, you can have it.” — Keano
“Love is really about putting someone before yourself. You kind of have to enjoy the littlest moments with them. Even like the littlest, simplest moments. No matter what you’re doing, it could be something so simple like washing a dish with someone or just sitting on the couch with someone, waking up next to someone, it’s like those little moments that could accumulate into something, some feeling that is way bigger than you could ever have thought. That’s what love is.” — Paul
“We were so madly in love with each other but it was so toxic. Sometimes people aren’t meant to be together. You can have your moments with each other but you gotta move on. I feel like I went through an ‘existential crisis’. Like wondering if it’s possible to find a love so powerful again and then if love is this transitory thing that exists moment to moment that maybe you can’t hold on to. Just reevaluating what love really is and what it means to me and what I get out of it and what I’m looking for. And I’m still continuously figuring it out as I go. I’m an experimental learner. ” — Taylor
“As you get older, you see early on that someone may not be the right fit or you may not the right fit for them. What is at the core of a good relationship? I think it’s values. It’s shared values, all the other stuff is external. Second to core value, is established social group. You have to fit into their established social group and vice versa…People move through the world in different ways.” — Akello
“I tell myself that I don’t want to be in a relationship. But then if I get close to someone I book it, I run away. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know if it’s because I’m actually not ready or if I’ve just been telling myself I’m not ready for so long and I’m shooing away good things too. And it’s easy, in this state, to fall back into comfort zones.” — Sami
“I like the concept of soul mates and I think that there is a lower stakes version of soul mates in the sense that you can have many. It’s a spiritual thread between two people but I think that thread can also unravel if people aren’t willing to make it work. I think that works with friendships and relationships.” — Hannah
“I find it hard to connect to people who are false fronted. And when you live in LA and meet people, you have to develop an ability to decide what’s being presented to you and what’s being held back. A lot of people say, “well in LA, everyone’s fake,” but the thing is that being fake is a defense mechanism here, it’s not necessarily intentional, it’s how you protect yourself.” — Jesse
“I know what I’m capable of with the right person and what could go wrong with the wrong person, so I really take my time with dating sort of seriously. I feel like I’m more old school. I feel like our generation wants things so instantly that no one wants to work for or earn things…I’m really a hopeless romantic at heart, and it’s not that I need a man, but I want one and if I found someone that was great then we could be great together.” — Al
“That’s when I knew, I think I’m capable of opening up because I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Unfortunately, nothing happened from it, but what it did teach me was, I can have those feelings again. And that was nice. I said “you gave me butterflies and I thank you for that.” And that’s all it is. It’s that chemistry part and then a love would come when the two people join and strengthen that.” — April
“You have to really come into the dating scene with an open mind and heart. I realized that I’m number one and myself come first, so I can’t put anyone else before me. And that’s really important for anybody to realize because you have to be happy first in order to love somebody else.” — Roxy
“I think I’m pretty stubborn. I don’t really settle, so I always have to have standards. If I’m not satisfied with something, I’m not going to settle for it. Finding someone in the same standards level is pretty difficult.” — Anthony
“We’re so fucked by Disney. Growing up watching this false reality of romance and what love should be and love can come in all shapes and forms…I have a core group of friends, we’re each other’s soulmates. Romantic relationships come and go but we’re kind of each other’s rock.” — Chetan
“Two wrongs don’t make a right…I do find that men who are close to their mothers, and their mothers are more nurturing, I find that they’re more respectful towards women.” — Nicole
“I feel like the older I get, the harder it is to be hopeful I will (find love.) When it ends, it just knocks you down harder each and every time. Even if you don’t know that person as much or you don’t experience something long term with them, it’s just another reminder that you’re getting older and it’s slipping further and further away from you, so then you start to question, is it even in the cards.” — Joanne
“I think I finally am! (ready to accept love) Because I think I’ve used my independence, in some ways, as a shield to get too intimate, and it’s not that I’m feared, it’s just that I feel that they’ll encroach upon my independence and want me to be less independence and more dependence.” — Wynn
“I believe in manifesting things so if you put that energy out there, shits going to happen.” — Irene
